Don't do that..... Aint cool...

:::::crackin up laughin::::::


For all you Myspace, Facebook, and Black Planet heads…..

Are you tired of getting hit on via web? Are you sick of guys/ girls saying things like ; “ you seem like a really sweet cool person, I wanna get to know you”?.... and the most you've ever said to each other was "hi".. well ..........................

Well, before I go any further.. check out the message I go on Myspace..




----------------- Original Message -----------------From: kevinDate: Aug 27, 2008 10:38 AMwats good chavi how u u have beautiful skin and a smile u have a man hit me back


--------- Original Message -----------------
From: ChaviDate: 27 Aug 2008, 02:19 PMaww thanks, that’s really sweet of you. .. Actually I’m not looking. I’m going through a bit of a Divorce, and I’m just on chill mode. But I appreciate your compliment… that’s sweet. Thank you.

----------------- Original Message -----------------From: kevinDate: Aug 27, 2008 2:38

ur husband messed up wit u bad look at u u fine sweet beautiful smart caring u honest charming wonderful sexy women if i was ur husband i treat u like a queen babii would i even charish u be there 4 u and im a very good hearted guy i do all ov dat 4 u. you just gotta give me some ov yo time I can do da rest fa you. You need a man who can make you feel good. Let me do dat

……………… ok, I see sooooo many things wrong with this picture.. .
1) learn how to spell.. How are you going to pick up on some chicks if you spelling 2 letter words wrong…? Huh?
2) I made it very clear that I was not looking, yet he KNOWS that my “husband” messed up.
3) If you never met me, how do you know I’m honest, charming and smart?... I could be a stupid mean liar.

So, why am I bothered by this? BECAUSE, it’s sad to see people sale out! Don’t do that!! That aint cool!.. You look soooo desperate. Is it really that bad? So now my question is, how do you handle stuff like that? The guy clearly does this to every cute female he happens to stumble upon, so we all know he’s a pro at “ internet stalking”… lol I just wish there was some type of filter for folks who do crap like this. I mean, I’m not perfect, and I’m not saying he’s beneath me, but dang… come on yall… he reeeeally laid it on thick with this one.


Just thought I’d share that with ya.

Today was a good day....... well, Kinda.

So I woke up this morning unusually happy. I mean, I always wake up happy, but this morning was like, extra. I sang every song on the radio on the way to work, and I didn’t yell “ IT’S THE PEDAL ON THE RIGHT” to the slow driving senior citizen in front of me holding up traffic with their left turn signal on , which was bad cause left was not an option. I even curled my hair this morning, which is unusual for Friday. I went to the grocery market, made me a salad then went to do some banking… now that’s grown up!. Usually when my day starts off like this, I always think back to what my grandmother used to say “ too much laughter brings tears ” … and its been sooo true… every time I have a good day, I end up crying that night. So today I said to myself “ I’m gonna have a good day no matter what, noooooooo body is gonna make it bad for me” so when I said that, I found a dollar flying around in the bank parking lot.. I took it and bought a lottery ticket from the machine and won $2! Then I got to work and waiting on my desk was a note and smart water (my favorite water) and a note that said “I’m sorry for being a ass the other day, you always look really nice and you deserve a real compliment”… so I smiled… and said thanks, instead of “ yeah… I thought so” … I sit at my desk, boot up the PC and open my email to ………… “Chavi will be covering for Mike Pezner, she will be completing all SISO documentation. She will also be checking all voicemails. Chavi can be reached at EXT 6230”…………….. Pissed. Let me explain why.. I work in a call center, where I have 40 technicians that I schedule daily. I’m constantly on the phone with them and I dont have extra time for NOTHIN. Get this… I am the scheduler for SAN FRANCISCO BAY!.. Not even the DYT… so its HELL, cause most of my techs are Mexicans. So I find myself answering my phone “ Hola, Chavi” .. Now you want me to cover another area ON TOP OF MINE.. And there’s a lady in my area that has NEEEEVER covered for anyone!.. so yeah……… Pissed. But you know what…. I’m gonna exhale, eat my salad, listen to some music and thank God for my job……… im still gonna have a good day.

Wow... (smh)

Some people reeeeally have their nerve… asking questions that just don’t seem relevant. so I come in to work today, pretty laid back atmosphere, people are nice, we can kinda dress how we want… .so I wear : white baby T, Jeans, and white Jordans…. Simple huh?.. well, the guy who sits next to me asked me a question today… he says, “ you like wearing shirts that show your boobs don’t you?” …. STOP , rewind……….. hello, how are you today? You look nice… NOPE, none of that. So instead of copping an attitude, I figured I’d take a different approach…. So I asked “what makes you say that?”… he says, “ well, I’m not saying I don’t like it, and I’m not saying you look bad or anything, just let me clear that up, its just that most girls with big boobs wear stuff on purpose to get attention. I’m not saying you’re that kinda girl, but I figured I’d ask cause I knew you would give me a straight answer”….. so, I thought about it for a minute… I said “ yes, I have big boobs… if I wore a turtle neck, I would still have big boobs.. if I wore a bullet proof vest, I would STILL have big boobs.. That’s something I just can’t help.”… So he says “ So, you don’t wear things on purpose to show them off?”…. I said “ wellll, I cant say that I don’t , and I cant say that I do, if I’m going out, I might show a little more then usual, but I still don’t understand why you’re asking me that”…. So he says “ ok, ima keep it real… lately, I’ve been watching you… you make me wonder … in a good way… don’t take this the wrong way but I just wanna know ……. Can I ____________”…. You finish the rest… he and I have been cool ever since I started working here... He’s made comments that I guess I really never paid any attention to… we go to the same Gym, and I see him more then I see myself… so, I’m on to him.. I know his kind , or at least I thought I did. While I wanted to act all mad, and appalled, I couldn’t …. It was kinda flattering… someone was actually checking me out…. I guess that’s kinda odd for me. Most people wont tell you that you have something in your teeth, let alone complement you on your outfit…

so, now I’m all paranoid that I’m showing too much boob, and keep checking to make sure aint nothing poppin out.. so then he says “did your dude like it when you would show cleavage?”… I said “who knows, he never said anything”.. So he says…. “My point exactly, he was not doing you right… I think some females just throw themselves out there and when they get the wrong reaction they wanna send all of us men to hell”…… dude………… who asked you?!.... you just asked me if you could ________ ( you finish the rest) and you wanna talk about females throwing themselves out there “like dat”… so my answer to his “Can I” question was No of course... So, Answer me this. Is that how Guys do it now a days?..... I want a smooth brotha. So let me tell you what I wanna hear: (for you confused brothas) “ Hi my name is ______ , I’ve seen you around a few times. You’ve caught my eye every time... I’ve thought about approaching you on a few occasions but I knew I had to come correct. You just don’t seem like the time to put up with lame pick up lines. So , if I were to ask you for your number, would you grant me the privilege to give you a call sometime? …. I’m sorry, I didn’t ask if you had a man, if so, I’m not going to ask to be your friend, because if you was mine, I wouldn’t want to share… I just want to talk to you, anywhere, you pick. You seem interesting to me, let me listen to you and see where this goes”…now, if a man said that to me, I couldn’t refuse… some men can be so lame, the come with these wack pick up lines, and wonder why women clown them… Last time I checked, I compliment didn’t consist of “ ay bay bay, you got a fat ass” that’s just sad……. Compliments don’t come easy, but if they gotta come like that… I don’t want em. don’t need em, you can keep em.

… The move

You can move from your family, your friends, your job, your spouse even your old neighborhood. So my question is… Can you move from yourself?

Call me “The Mover”… I’ve moved 3 times in the last 4 years. Oh, but it gets better! I’ll be moving this year too! Sad huh? You would think I was running from someone. I look at my friends and wonder “what the hell is my problem” they seem to have their shit together… I’ll give you the scoop on what I mean.

(I will not use real names but they’ll know who they are)

Friend number 1: Albany, she’s a power house when it comes down to getting it done! She purchased a HOUSE! For her and her children... yeah she ran into a few issues, and she had folks telling her not to move. But she did what she thought was best for her and her kids. She’s making due with what she has, and allllllllways pays her bills on time! She always finds a way out of NO WAY! Weird huh? But true. I’m sure she’s had to make some tough decisions in her life. But the main thing is, she never moved away from herself….

Friend number 2: Nevada, She can turn water into wine! She’s made a few moves and in my opinion she’s lived in some of the coolest places ever... Her surroundings make you fell soooooo comfortable. She’s the ultimate bachlorette! I know I long for that feeling of being free! And she has it. She gives new meaning to the word “carefree”… not that she’s not responsible, cause that she is… its just, she’s always so care free about everything, and never seems to be stressed out about the small stuff… and get this, she has RMA (arthritis) she has eeeeeeeeevery right to complain.. But she lets that slide.. she never moved away from herself…

Friend number 3: Toledo, She seems to always have it together … she made a HUGE move. She made tons of sacrifices… not only did she leave her friends, but she left her family too… she moved to a NIIIICE apartment in the sky.. She has NO ONE there with her and she never complains. She always has a positive attitude and is known as the “peace maker”… she moved to follow HER dream… any you wanna know what’s most impressive……. she never moved away from herself..

Friend number 4: Japan, she has the ability to make any situation turn around. She lived in a place where she was clearly not welcome, but you know what? She did what she had to do.. Worked 2 jobs EVERYDAY… not to mention she worked 2 jobs while pregnant. Talk about inspiration. She moved from her hectic living situation and now she’s living is one of the most beautiful homes I’ve seen… through out all the changes, drama, problems and pain, she held it together. She never moved away from herself…


So what’s my problem? Why cant I seem to have it together… for so long I thought I was doing something and I wasn’t doing shit!.. I always wanted to be the one my friends admired, looked up to and seek advice from… I cant even give advice to MYSELF!.. It makes me wonder how I’m even able to have friends like these.. They’ve all been in life changing situations and somehow they’ve maintained who they are… I can only hope my next move will bring me back to who I am… I feel like I’ve evicted myself from myself (weird huh?) but its sooo true. I don’t feel like me. So, this time, I’m going to leave all the old stuff behind, and be that girl who lived in the One bedroom apartment, and loved any and everything Hello Kitty, and im gonna burn ever oil, candle, and insents, I can find… im gonna buy all the bath & body I want and make chicken spaghetti everyday!.. I’m gonna clean my house 5 times a day and lay in my Indian palace every chance I get. I’m gonna wear feet pajamas on my birthday and im gonna play dance dance revolution anytime I want!....... know why?.... cause that’s me.

Back then... where did I go?

here I am…. August 15, 2008…. So, I never looked at myself as a blogger… but just recently, I gained some inspiration. I read his blogs, and thought to myself “man, he must feel great! he let a lot off of his chest”… so, im gonna give it a try.. But….Where do I start…

Once upon a time…… yea that sounds great, but this aint no fairy tail. I’ve been through sooo many changes it aint even funny. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking “ who doesn’t go through changes?”… Well yeah, we all do. But because we’re different, our “changes” are unique.. Let me explain. Have you EVER felt like you had to compromise who you were to make someone else happy? Or have you ever had to be someone different around certain people to the point where you don’t even know who you are anymore?... I almost got to that point. I forgot myself … the cliché is “I need to find myself”….well this aint the case.. I didn’t lose anything.. I know who I am.. But I just forgot about me and what makes me happy. I looked back and did a little research on what makes up Chavi. I’m fun, funny, affectionate, caring, goofy, outspoken, outgoing, clumsy, creative, loving, nurturing, helping, willing and most of all, able. With time, I watched myself become vindictive, quite, nonchalant, and most of all, I flat out didn’t give a fuck. Why? Well, I didn’t know then, but NOW, I know why. The person I was with made me feel like I always had to have my guard up and be on the defense alllllllllllll the time. I was so busy protecting myself from him, which made me forget about me. I did the things that made him happy, not me. I said the things he wanted to hear, not what I wanted to say. I went to the places he wanted to go. And boy was I stupid! Cause I never stopped to think “why don’t we ever go anywhere I want to go?”. And to think, I married this fool… well, Then, I was dumb. Now, I’m on the straight and narrow… I took a Vow under God.. I said would love and cherish till death… man, I failed BIG TIME with that one. As strong as my faith is, I just KNEW everything would work.. and I would be happy.. But I was soooooooo wrong.. So am I a complete failure if I see its not going anywhere and I want out?... look at it this way….. You’re in a marriage, but you’re absolutely miserable … should you stay? Cause I’m sure God didn’t say “you MUST stay together even if you are miserable”.. That don’t make sense.. So did I fail? So now I’m at the breaking point.. I got my “walking papers” so I don’t have to worry about that anymore.. That was somewhat a HUGE waste of time… I mean, I learned a lot, but now.. IM OUT THIS PIECE!.. Whew.. That felt good. I wont be anyone’s arm piece.. eye candy, butler, bust it baby, jump off or any of that.. this was a part of my life when I though I was grown….. I aint grown yet. I mean, yeah, I pay bills and work EVERYDAY ALL DAY but I still have a little ways to go. But I’m getting there.


But looking back even further…………………. I hurt a few people and well, that aint cool. I gave things up, I put things on the back burner, and I let people down. Not saying that it’s all about what others think, but if you care enough about folks, then their words hold some weight. So here goes it….. firstly, (to you , and you know who you are) I’m sorry, I apologize, I am deeply remorseful .. I don’t know how bad the hurt was, but I know it stung. Totally not my intention. I can remember all of the talk behind it, and how the whole thought of you and I just kinda dissipated. I got super frustrated cause you wouldn’t let me in. I knew you liked me, but something just didn’t seem right, like you were holding back, or holding in. Amerie said it all “ why don’t we fall in love”… I kept asking why. it was like 70/30…. 70% of you was like “ hell yeah! Lets do this”.. And well, the other 30% was like “ whoa, hold up… I don’t know about this”. You were so different from what I was used to, and it was refreshing yet kinda frustrating…refreshing because you made me look at things in a different light… Frustrating because you held things in, and it was like a guessing game.. I loved you, still do. Things didn’t happen the way they should have. The way everything ended was wrong. I was learning you, and seeing what made you so different from who everyone else knew you as. And I liked it!.. I always wondered if you looked at me the same way. But I screwed that up. I’m just grateful to get the occasional text… or a comment here and there. I look at you now and see how much you’ve changed… not in a bad way, but you’ve changed quite a bit. I’m proud of you, I had nothing to do with the transformation but I can see a lot of who you are on the inside, the person you were trying to let out, but didn’t know how. Its crazy now I’m wondering what would it be like…you made me smile… you made me cry… you made me laugh hella hard!... I still have that pink elephant… the Starburst BEEN gone… you were so thoughtful… I hope you hold me close to your heart like I still do you. You meant something to me, and you still do… thanks for being there for me when I needed you the most, even if it meant you had to drive illegally lol…. thanks for your birthday….. Thanks for my birthday… (Feet pajamas) … you’re the best. I knew who I was when I was with you……


Now what ….. I’ve been a victim of stupidity and I don’t EVER wanna go there again. So what can I do to make this better? Take care of me and mines. Get back to me. on a scale of 1 to 10 I’m about a 7 as far as getting back to me…. but when I hit that 10, look out. I’ve undergone some counseling… and just because you pay someone $40 bucks a visit, and lay on a huge purple (comfortable) couch, don’t mean you crazy. I actually feel stronger, she made me see there is NOTHING wrong with me, that cant be fixed.. I’m bouncing back yall! So, instead of making vows to other people, im gonna make a few to myself… *** I vow, to never forget about me. I will do what I want, when I want. I will be considerate of MYSELF and make sure I’m good before I jump to the aid of others. I vow not to be selfish, however, I will be no ones fool. I will make every effort to be strong through any storm.. And I will keep it movin when I am encountered by idiots.. I will love myself, and take good care of me….*** besides.. If I don’t………………………………. who will?